Down At The Old Pub Instead lyrics - Stephen Lynch

See the full Down At The Old Pub Instead lyrics from Stephen Lynch. Down At The Old Pub Instead lyrics belongs on the album Singles. Learn every word of your favourite song and get the meaning or start your own concert tonight :-). Rate this song's lyrics. Uploaded by Jina Schnur. Use it for personal and educational purposes only. Listen to these sick beats by Stephen Lynch.

Song Down At The Old Pub Instead video
Stephen Lynch - Down At The Old Pub Instead video

Down At The Old Pub Instead lyrics

Lad its your duty to find you a lass
With child bearing hips and a pink supple ass
And make her your wife
And love her with love so true

Now some rivers run high, some rivers run low
when her river runs red, then shes starting her flow
Ands its called menstruation and here's what it means to you

You will notice her bloomers are spotty at first
Stand back, her ovarian dam's gonna burst
Son, don't be afraid, it's a natural thing

Just wad up some cotton and hand her a string
And put the old linens on top of the bed
Get out of the house and go down to the old pub instead

She'll retain her water her breast'll be tender
and every third word that you say will offend her
Get out of the house and go down to the old pub instead

She'll want to make love, if you do you're a fool
You'll only end up with a bloody old tool
Get out of the house and go down to the old pub instead

And she'll want you to sample the fruit of her loins
But son it'll taste like some old rusty coins
So turn off the light and take off your hat
and drop to your knees, say a prayer to saint Pat
That'll give you the strength to get out of bed
And for irelands sake get out of the house and go down to the old pub instead

Now the pub is the place where the lads are a-meeting
When the moon is full and the gals are a-bleeding
The catholic, the protestant, even the pagan
The pub is the place where your lady is raggin
So drink up your pints, boys and thank your shamrocks
That as menfolk we don't have to bleed from our cocks
And that we can escape from the lady in red
And get out of the house and go down to the old pub instead

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